Bangkok

Yup, we are those people.

WOW. It has been said that a traveler has not been successful until he steps out of his comfort zone. Mission accomplished. 

Of all of the places that I have visited in my life I do not know that there are any that are more strikingly contrasting than Oia, Santorini and Bangkok, Thailand. At one point in Santorini, I observed that at that moment, all five of my senses were simultaneously pleased. We were walking, eating ice cream with breathtaking views, the soft ripple of the tide was the main soundtrack, the aromas from the surrounding cafes were mouth-watering and the weather was perfect. Within five minutes of walking the streets of Bangkok we had the exact opposite experience. We were surrounded by squalor, in agonizing heat, people yelling at the top of their lungs, while slamming into us, in an attempt to sell us pretty much everything, while the odors of day-old squid that wafted by were so potent that you could taste it. There was no question we were thousands of miles outside of our comfort zone. 

From this



To this



After the initial shock wore off, this eventually became one of the highlights of the trip.

Day 9-10 Thailand

(Due to technical dificulties of blogging in Thailand, I was unable to post until now, I'll try to get them all out ASAP)

Knowing that this portion of the trip was oddly partitioned, losing two days of activities due to Shavuot, we planned on spending the first day in Bangkok booking the trip with a Thai travel agent, spending the next 4 days doing activities in the northern city of Chang Mai, then heading south to the island of Koh Samui for the holiday, and then returning to Bangkok for the last couple days.

We got out of the airport and hailed a taxi cab. The driver, while walking us to the cab, punched another driver right in the crotch.  He probably should not have told him we were heading to Bangkok. Who knew that was a Thai tradition?

After getting settled in our hotel room and getting slightly acclimated to the intense heat, we decided to head over to the Chabad Restaurant to get a hot meal. Since our hotel was slightly out of the way, we needed to take a Tuk-Tuk to the main area, walk to the train station, take the sky train a couple stops then grab a cab the rest of the way. This was going to be interesting.

Ok. Imagine combining the safety of a motorcycle, the comfort of a wheel barrow, and Liz's concern for traffic law (and her ability to drive with her eyes open), and you have a Tuk-Tuk. In a city that is almost in a perpetual state of gridlock, Tuk-Tuk drivers need to do whatever they can to cut time off the trip. The driver zig zagged through  three lanes of traffic, ran  four reds (around cars) and drove into oncoming traffic, all while acting like it was no big deal. I am pretty sure there is no better way to travel.

Welcome to Thailand

Once we got out of the Tuk-Tuk, we quickly praised the lord for granting us safe passage and headed into Siam center. I have never seen anything like it. Every inch of the side walks were covered with vendors yelling at the top of their lungs trying to explain why you cannot live without whatever crap they were selling; no matter how many times I declined, they still felt that I needed those cullots. Every other vendor was selling whatever animal they could get their hands on, from squid to cockroaches to jelly fish. As bad as those things looked, it was nothing compared to how awful they smelled. The closest thing I can compare the smell to is someone throwing up in my nose. Later, Liz and I had a long conversation trying to decide if the smells originated from food or actual fecal matter. This is a very special place.


<>

Where are we?


The next day we headed over to the travel agent to plot out the rest of our Thailand stay. I am pretty sure that TAT (Tourism Authority of Thailand) offices are made of magic. We came in with absolutely nothing booked for the next two weeks and left an hour later with a complete itinerary, including flights, activities and hotels near Chabad restaurants, all much cheaper than when we had priced it on our own.

We left the office with our next two weeks planned and a feeling of being smarter than your average tourist. The feeling did not last long. Right outside of the TAT office was one of the thousands of tailor shops in Thailand promising custom made clothing at crazy low prices. I had always wanted a custom tailored suit, so I thought I would go in and hear what the guy had to say. The next few minutes were a blur and the next thing I knew I was signing the credit card receipt, after ordering  a suit and four new shirts. The sales guy could Fistel with the best of them. At one point he somehow turned me into a salesman pitching to other Americans who accidentally wandered into the shop. At best I restocked my wardrobe on the cheap, at worst I learned a $300 lesson.

Idiot

Afterwords, we headed to the airport to head out to Chaing Mai, where adventure awaited. 

Day 8

Understanding that this was the last time we would be in Athens for a while, we decided to try to take in the last must see attraction that we missed - the archeological museum. As modern and refreshing as the New Acropolis museum was, this was not. It was hot, it was stuffy, it was overcrowded with everything in Greece that they could not find another place for(except for everything Lord Elgin stole for England) , pretty much everything that I hate in a museum. The one redeeming quality was that it was protected by the incredible hulk, making sure that no one skipped out on paying the 6 Euro fee. I did not like him angry.  


Not pictured: Hulk ravaging the city

 As we were walking through the exhibit featuring the burial items of the ancient Mycenaeans, it dawned on me: archeologists are basically glorified grave robbers. The entire exhibit consisted of burial masks, burial swords, golden chalices, jewelry, dolls, and finally, a sarcophagus. Basically, they came across some poor guy’s grave, stole all of his toys, and tossed out the skeleton. A little bit off-putting when you think about it. After about 2 hours of Liz learning new things and me getting yelled at by the staff for posing in front of the statues, we left and made our way to the airport. 


On left: Mycenaean ancestor of the Loser Cup 


After clearing customs, we hopped on a bus and headed for our first          destination, Windsor Castle. Wait, WHAT? That's right, surprise London detour bitches. With the 6 hour layover in London, we decided to stretch our legs a bit and do a little site-seeing.  Unfortunately, by the time we got to the castle, it was already closed to tourists, so we spent our time walking around the area and ended up at a beautiful park. We made it back with plenty of time to spare for me to play one of the video poker machines that was set up in the airport, and for Liz to sit and stare. 

The Animals

This is a constantly updated page with all of the animals we have encountered on our trip.

See if you can pick out the donkey's ass from the Horse's ass. ZING!

Liz's Worst Nightmare (ask her why, trust me)

Holy Crap Holy Crap Holy Crap
(You will get it when you see it)

I think we have this backwards

Great Liz, now they have a taste for human flesh

Ewwwwwwwwww

What the hell is wrong with my wife?

Seriously

Yeah, that happened

This too

Hey Tony, they are not that Grrrrrrrrreat

Santorini Part 1

Day one was pretty much consumed by travel. We were told that the  Santorini experience was not complete if you did not arrive by ferry, due to the scenic islands that lined the way. So we grabbed a 7am ferry and took in the ride. Liz and I had two distinct ways of appreciating the journey: Liz parked herself in her seat, with her eyes glued on the window, taking in every bit of the scenery. I found my own way to enjoy the trip; I passed out across 3 chairs and slept through the entire thing (otherwise known as enjoying it Rozmaryn style).

Like this, just on a ferry

Once we got in and rented our car (25€ a day, thanks negotiation class), we were off to Oia. We will be discussing the beauty of the island in a different post, so I will jump right to the hotel, Oia's Sunset. It was exactly what we were looking for. It was located in the heart of Oia, and for $85 a night we got a one bedroom apartment with a kitchen, living room, and a cute outdoor sitting area. The hotel property was completely enclosed and our windows  opened up to the adorable courtyard. There was a bar, a pool, and a Stavros. Stavros is the man. He and Paros make up the entire day staff at the hotel. Anything you want they will get you, and refuse your money. They got us water, beer, directions, tickets, and even ran to the store (even though we told them not to) to get us a book of matches. Stavros knows all the ins and outs of the island and happily told us where to go and when. He is just the man.

The Hotel

The Hotel

The Man

After getting situated, we watched the gorgeous sunset from the hotel balcony, and then headed off to Fira, the capital of Santorini. We got to Fira at 8 pm, and the town was bustling. All of the shops were still selling the local art and tourist crap. Walking around Fira was a cool experience because the shops line both sides of the tiny walkways that can't be more than 5 feet across. So even though you are outside, it still has the feeling of being indoors.

Oia's actual sunset

We stopped for a quick drink at the Highlander pub, a Scottish bar that was staffed with Greeks wearing kilts. From there we went to Franco's bar, one of the top 3 experiences of our trip so far. The bar was built into the side of the mountain and was basically empty, so Liz and I lounged on couches, staring at the breathtaking views of the Caldera (coast), listening to classical music, sipping on our tea, just soaking in the  atmosphere. It was one of the few perfect places that I have ever visited.

The view from Franco's

The next day, we decided to tour the island's black and red beaches. It turns out that this plan was much more complicated than we had originally imagined based on one small issue: the roads on the island don't have names. I have to say that navigation becomes much more difficult when your directions consist of "Ok, take the squiggly one until you see that diagonal one then go three more roads, then make a left at the straight one - if you go up the mountain you went to far. Long story short, we went too far. Note to self: when you are on a one lane, two-way road, on top of a mountain, dodging goats, alongside a cliff, you have gone too far. On the one hand, we had amazing views of the island, on the other, we had to add two pairs of pants to our laundry pile.

Not the black beach

Following two hours and approximately ten miles of actual distance, we arrived at Perissa, the black sand beach. The atmosphere of the area was very laid back, with bars lining the boardwalk and beautiful views of the sea. Each of these bars had a path to the beach leading to lounge chairs under straw umbrellas. The problem was that the "black sand" turned out to be black pebbles, and it was just not that comfortable.

What? It's black enough

After laying out for a little while we decided to give the Red beach a whirl. As was the case with the trip to the black sand beach, what should have been a ten minute drive stretched into an hour and a half. Once we arrived we had our first encounter with an unwritten rule of Santorini, the surprise exercise.  It turns out that the good people of Santorini were not happy unless you preface every activity with soul crushing exercise. Want to go to the beach? Scale a mountain. Want to see the Amoudi pier? Climb 223 steps. Want to take a dip in the hot springs? Swim a mile through the rough seas. Lord I hate these people.

With only 3 miles left until we reach the beach

Once we finished our mountain climbing adventure we got to to the beach and realized that just like the black version, the red sand consisted solely of rocks. Since there were no chairs around, it took us about five minutes before our asses went completely numb and we were headed back up the mountain. Shabbat was closing in so we packed up and headed back to our hotel.

We spent the majority of Shabbat walking around the city of Oia and the beautiful, and physically draining Amoudi pier. On Sunday we took a boat trip from the pier to the volcano in the middle of the cove, the hot springs, the island of Thirasia, and finally back to the pier. The trip was fantastic, if uneventful. The next day we got back on the ferry and headed back to Athens.

Its ok, I got in her picture too

Santorini Intro

Our time spent in Santorini was, so far, the best experience of our young trip, but since most of our time there was spent enjoying the atmosphere and views, it is not very conducive to blogging. So we decided to consolidate our time spent on Santorini into two posts: one attempting to describe Santorini to anyone not fortunate enough to have spent time there, and the second talking about some of the things that we did. These posts will probably be a bit dryer, do to the laid back nature of our time on Santorini.

Santorini

Yes.

Santorini

Yes.

Day 2 (Athens)

This was the one day that we had dedicated to soaking in Athens and all of its history and culture. After a quick pb sandwich on our balcony, we were off on the B2 bus headed into ancient Greece. After leaving the marina area, we immediately understood why everyone is so down on Athens. The streets were small and dirty, lined with dingy looking shops covered in graffiti. It had the feel of New York in the mid-eighties, before Giuliani closed down all of the peep shows. Ultimately, this gross ambiance only served to make the contrast between downtown Athens and the area surrounding the Acropolis more distinct. Seemingly from nowhere, the grime of the city washed away into the lush greenery of the national garden, guarded by Herod's arch.

First stop: the Acropolis. No matter where you go in the city the Acropolis is visible from below; it is evident why this was the spot chosen by the ancient Greeks as their gateway to the heavens. We passed through the Propylaea into an open courtyard housing the Parthenon on the right and the Erechtheion on the left. Looking at some of the artists renderings of what it looked like in its heyday really helped us grasp how incredible it must have looked when fully built, with the detailed sculptures, grand columns and 40 foot statues hovering over the city.

The other part of the experience that caught my attention was the history behind the Parthenon. It started out as a Greek temple, which was then looted with the fall of the Roman empire. Then, in the fifth century, it was turned into a Christian church and all of the pagan images were destroyed. It was then converted to a mosque, a palace, and even a gunpowder storage facility before the Venetians blew it up trying to defeat the Turks. While listening to this history, I felt a twinge of Schadenfreude as the Chanukah story, where the Greeks spent a good amount of time desecrating all they could get there hands on, kept running through my head. But I digress. From the Parthenon the views were spectacular. You could see all of Athens, from the mountains to the sea.

From there we headed though the growing sea of people (if you ever plan on going make sure to go as early as possible as that place gets crazy once people start showing up) right to a pharmacy, as it has become Liz's tradition to get sick every time we get on a plane (the 35 hours of travel time to Costa Rica should be a breeze, he wrote sarcastically). For all of the European mocking I do, I need to give credit where credit is due - their drugs are amazing. Liz went from walking zombie to life of the party in under 5 minutes thanks to some sort of Greek miracle elixir.

Next on our tour was the new Acropolis museum. I must say that this place was a very pleasant surprise. If I have learned anything from my travels it is that museums attached to historical sites are always awful. They are usually huge and boring and indistinguishable, overwhelming and disappointing, always trying to shove in as many things as possible and about a million degrees celsius. This was nothing like the others. It was unique and interesting. The floors are all glass so you can see excavations as they are taking place. The rooms are open and inviting with all of the artifacts on display, no pomp and circumstance, just sitting in the middle of large open rooms lined with windows, so visitors can see the beautiful views of the the city. We went to the museum's cafe to get a coffee and were floored by the best views of the city. It was like a private balcony overlooking the acropolis, just magnificent. As would be expected, Liz and I both got yelled at in the museum, Liz for touching the sculptures, and me for taking pictures.

Like ants under my feet

From there we decided to take a walking tour of the city to try to make the most of our one day in Athens. The first stop on the tour was the tomb of the unknown soldier. We happened to be very lucky and arrived just as the guard was about to change. Let me preface this next part by saying that I have nothing but the utmost respect for Greek soldiers. Any time you have someone putting their life on the line to protect others it is deserving of nothing but the utmost adoration in my eyes. So I truly mean no disrespect when I say that this was the silliest solemn moment I have ever witnessed. First of all, the costume that these elite solders were forced to wear could not have been borne of anything outside of a lost bet. I will attempt to describe them to you in as respectful a manner as I can, but I promise nothing. First of all, they are are outfitted with tap shoes with a huge black pompom on the toes. Above that they wore off-white stockings with black tassels hanging off the back of their knees. This was tucked into a beige skirt which, we were told contains 400 pleats, one for every year of Ottoman occupation. All of this was topped off by a red beret accented by a 3 foot nylon tassel hanging past their waste, like a teenage girl sporting a side pony. I do not think I am capable of making up a more ridiculous looking costume.

Not Pictured: Masculinity

Unfortunately, the garb was not the extent of the ridiculousness of the ceremony. What followed looked like it came straight out of Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks. The best way for me to describe it would be a super slow motion goose-step combined with a Rockettes style leg kick that stopped for a couple seconds at each joint. Meaning, lift right leg up at the hip until thigh is parallel to the ground and knee is at a right angle, hold for two seconds. Straighten knee, hold for two seconds. Extend up and bend knee, hold for two seconds. Straighten knee, hold for two seconds. Bend knee, hold for two seconds. Put foot down. Repeat with left leg. It took them almost 10 minutes to walk 30 feet. Once the incoming team met the old crew in the middle, the officer went through a thorough inspection, my guess is to make sure they were well-prepared for the 30 minute prance they were about to endure. All of this ended with two soldiers meeting in the middle and finishing this maneuver while touching toes.

One of these is giving a solemn salute to a fallen soldier, while the other one is about to be slapped in the face with a fish.

After the ceremony was over, Liz and I ran up to the guard to take a quick photo. We loved it, but not as much as the guard.

Loving it

Less so

From there the rest of the city walk was nice, but pretty uneventful. We decided to cap the day off with the obligatory tour of the Jewish museum. By this time we had gotten a little lost, so Liz asked a cabbie for directions. Unfortunately,(for them, fortunately for me) the cabbie got distracted while talking to Liz and forgot to stop driving and crashed into a parked motorcycle. As would be expected, Liz's eyes popped out of her head as she apologized profusely to the cabbie and the bike-owner, and while I tried to get a picture, hilarity ensued.

Hilarity ensuing

 After they stood the bike up and saw no damage, Liz and I headed back for the museum. The Jewish museum was pretty similar to every other one in existence: the Jews were immigrants, but were slowly building their way up in society, then the holocaust wiped out 87% of them. I know it is unrealistic, but just once I would like to go to a Jewish museum where the Jews had at least a 50% survival rate - is that really too much to ask? To be fair, this museum did have a very touching story of the island of Zakynthos where the Mayor, Lucas Karrer and the Metropolitan Bishop Chrysostomos did not allow the nazis to search out the Jews, saying that they themselves were the only two Jews on the island. This courageous act of defiance was the sole reason for the survival of every single Jew on the island. It's a small victory, but I'll take it.

Day 1 (The trip begins)

I love British Airways. There was no better way to get this trip off the ground than by flying out on one of their brand new 777s. What was originally a daunting 12 hour trip flew by as we slept soundly for most of the flight in the crazy spacious seats that reclined more than the American Airlines maximum of 7 nanometers. You ever have the option, choose BA.

Once we landed we changed some cash (I know, changing cash at an airport is a rookie move), grabbed our bags and a cab and were on our way. Our cabbie, when not double-charging us, was surprisingly helpful, giving us the lay of the land, some information about the area, and a quick Greek lesson. Unfortunately, we could not really understand what he was saying, so when he left us (80€ lighter) we were pretty much exactly where we started.

When we were in the planning stages of this trip, any time we told people we were going to Greece we were met by the same comment: "Athens is gross, go directly to the islands." So we were pretty surprised by how beautiful Flisvos Marina, the area surrounding our hotel, was. We walked the boardwalk amongst Greeks, not tourists, sat down next to an older man night-fishing, and hung our legs over the pier. The view of the Aegean Sea was amazing, filled with mountainous backdrops and city lights in the distance. We came back and walked around the "rooftop gardens" in our hotel - actually a beautiful area with a wedding chapel overlooking the water, a small pool and gym, but the "garden" consisted of a couple of plants behind the pool. For dinner, we brought a table and a couple of chairs onto the balcony and dined on peanut butter sandwiches in the Mediterranean breeze. Then, after 3 episodes of "Modern Family," we called it a night.

And we're off!

Our adventure starts here. After weeks of preparation, hours on the phone with airline representatives, two nights up past three packing, a passport scare, TSA agents stealing Shabbos (or at least the two bottles of grape juice some idiot put in our carry-on), and a couple of x-rays of our junk, we are finally here. Sitting in gate B44 waiting for our dream vacation to begin. We've been talking about taking this kind of vacation for over 10 years - since we began dating - and the day has finally arrived. In the next couple of weeks we hope to give a detailed description of our experiences, adventures, and missteps as a way to give you a window into this once-in-a-lifetime trip. We hope you enjoy the ride.